American regulators cleared a vaccine to treat COVID-19 earlier this weekend, and in the show’s cold open, “Saturday Night Live” seized on the opportunity to have Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx explain what this all means.
The sketch began with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, played by Beck Bennett, introducing “today’s top story” — Pfizer’s vaccine — on his show “The Situation Room.”
The coronavirus vaccine developed by Pfizer and its German partner, BioNTech, was cleared for emergency use by the Food and Drug Administration on Friday. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a final clearance on Saturday.
Pfizer plans on shipping out doses of the vaccine on Sunday morning.
“It’s just like the PS5,” Bennett said. “Everybody wants it, nobody can get it. And if you’re rich, you already had it a month ago.”
Bennett then welcomed Fauci, the nation’s top infectious disease expert, played by Kate McKinnon, and Birx, played by Heidi Gardner, to the show.
“Here to tell us what to expect out of the vaccine rollout are the American Gothic of the whole coronavirus situation,” Bennett said.
Cheers then broke out from the audience, prompting Gardner to say, “And I am also the reason for the cheers.” McKinnon asked the crowd to keep the “woos” to a minimum since “they spread droplets.”
The sketch continued to play up Birx and Fauci’s differences in public standing, with McKinnon sharing Fauci’s “good news.”
“The vaccine is approved, and I am officially joining the Biden administration to continue the fight against COVID,” McKinnon said.
Gardner followed up with, “And I think I’ll be joining as well, right?”
“Remember when Trump said to inject bleach and I did a stanky little face?” Gardner said, squinting her eyes and pursing her jaw. “And I almost whispered ‘no.’”
McKinnon as Fauci then explained how the Pfizer vaccine, which is already being distributed in the United Kingdom, would be rolled out in the United States.
“Yeah, we’re doing this vaccine World War Two style. We made England go in first, see what’s what, and then we swoop in at the end and steal the spotlight,” McKinnon said. “Tom Hanks will make 10 movies about it. And when it’s all over, you can kiss any nurse you want.”
First, McKinnon said, health care workers would get the vaccine: “Your McSteamys, your McDreamys, what have you.”
“And next we have anybody named Mildred, Horace, Blanche, Mabel or Walter,” Gardner said. McKinnon elaborated: “We’re talking about super seniors, anyone who pays for Red Lobster with a Diners Club Card.”
The CDC’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practice has voted to prioritize giving shots to long-term care residents and health care workers.
“And then after the elderly, we’ll move on to prisoners, then teachers, then sick people, then everyone else,” Gardner said.
“And that will be July 20 ba duh ba duh ba duh,” McKinnon added.
Bennett then asked what Fauci thought of the “overall federal vaccine plan.”
“You know, I try not to comment,” McKinnon said. “But this president has done about a good a job with this rollout as I did throwing out that first pitch at the Nationals game.”
A clip was then played of real-life Fauci’s wild pitch at the game, which missed the catcher by quite a large margin.
“It’s OK, little guy,” Gardner said. “We all mess up sometimes. You threw the ball wrong. I didn’t say, ‘Don’t drink the bleach.’”
A person in the crown then launched a bra at Fauci’s face.
“Look, this keeps happening throughout this whole thing,” McKinnon said. “I’ve been the only one saying facts, so some people got a crush on me.”
Birx and Fauci then fielded a number of other questions about the vaccine distribution plan — from how the doses would be kept cold (“Luckily, the vaccine comes in ‘Coors Light Cold Activated Cans,’” Gardner said.) to how providers would track patients to make sure they got both doses of the vaccine (“We’re going to have them leave a necklace at the CVS just so they have an excuse to come back,” McKinnon said.) and how it would be decided which states received shipments of the vaccine first.
“Ah, yeah, we’re going to distribute to states alphabetically, starting with A-California and then B-New York City,” McKinnon said.
McKinnon added: “If enough Americans get this vaccine, you will all forget who I am. That’s my goal — to have zero name recognition with Americans. Because that means I’ll have done my job well. I want to go back to being an anonymous hunk. But you have my promise that no matter who is in charge, I’ll do everything possible to ensure that you are able to see your loved ones safely once again.”
Watch the full cold open below:
Shannon Larson can be reached at shannon.larson@globe.com. Follow her on Twitter @shannonlarson98.
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December 13, 2020 at 02:40PM
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On ‘SNL’ cold open, Kate McKinnon’s Dr. Fauci explains the coronavirus vaccine plan - The Boston Globe
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